Urban Alchemy x littlefoolbook for The Summer of Self-Love
A guest post by our partner in self-love crime, Reanne Derkson
Whether you’re Canadian (like me!) or American (like my boyfriend), you’ve got a beautiful long weekend coming up and if possible, you should plan to spend it doing exactly what you want.
You’re probably like, duh. But hear me out.
I’ve long been the girl who goes with the flow. If my friends or family asked me what I felt like doing during the long weekend (or anytime at all, ever), in the past, I probably would have answered with something like, “Oh, I’m easy! Whatever you guys want to do is great.” Which is precisely how I’ve wound up, tired and alone in an Uber delivering me from one place I didn’t want to be, to another. And it’s also the reason that I got so drunk that one time (who am I kidding? — plenty of times) at that party where I didn’t know anybody because it was awkward AF, and why were we there again? Oh right, because “I’m easy!” And it’s definitely the reason I’ve woken up to angry texts from my BFF for making a Houdini exit at “the club” well before the night was deemed over. All because I conceded to other people’s plans, priorities and ideas of fun without actually consulting myself for an opinion. Being the “chill” girl, the “up for anything,” and the “I don’t mind” girl is exhausting.
While it’s one thing to be agreeable, it’s another thing altogether to sacrifice your own well-being for someone else’s idea of a “good time.” We live in a YESculture. It’s totally normal to want to be a people pleaser amongst your people. But sometimes constantly saying YES to your friends, your S.O., your family, your boss, your co-workers, means a default NO on your end — a NO to yourpriorities, your to-do lists, and your idea of a good time.
SO. It's time to prioritize your own agenda with these 4 ridiculously simple tips for actually enjoying your July Long Weekend.
4 Ways To Actually Enjoy Your Long Weekend
1. Ask yourself, how do you honestly want to spend your time?
Chances are, there are a million things going on this long weekend. A beach bash and bonfire at your parent’s cabin. A BBQ at your BFF’s boyfriend’s brother’s house. Your grandma really wants to hit the yard sale scene (it’s always lit on long weekends). That band your bestie’s obsessed with is playing downtown and your BF’s graduating class is having a good ol’ fashioned house party.
You’ve got options, girl. But first, ask yourself — how do you honestly want to spend your time? What’s your idea of a GT? And is it aligned with anything else that’s going on? If YES, great. Hit up that BBQ and crash the house-party late night. But if it’s a NO, then maybe it’s time to stop being a YES woman for other people, and start being a YES woman for yourself.
(BTW. It’s 100% okay for your BFF to want to spend her July Long booze cruising, and for you to want to spend it at a yoga retreat. Or vice versa. Just acknowledge the difference and make a plan.)
2. Plan accordingly.
Once you’ve given it some thought, start making the plans.
If all your friends are hitting up the free concert in town, but you’re dying for some 1-on-1 time with your BF at the beach, make it happen.
Let your friends know you’ll meet up with them later. Let your BF know what time to be ready, and to pack a bathing suit.
Believe it or not, while you’re friends will likely miss your presence, they won’t hold your priorities against you. (If they do, they’re not good friends.) And your BF, well, he’s been dying for 1-on-1 time, but didn’t want to seem needy.
OKAY. So. Maybe there’s no free concert in your town, or you don’t have a BF, but you get my point. Once you give yourself the permission to actually have your own thoughts, feelings, and opinions about what you want to do — listen to them. And then plan accordingly. You hold the power, babe.
3. Recruit your squad.
Now that you know what you want to do, and how you want to spend your July Long Weekend, recruit your squad. Sure, your friends may already have other plans, but they might be YES women, too, so throw out your plan as an option and give them the opportunity to choose it, if they want.
Or, maybe you’re planning to finally spend some long overdue time with yourself. In which case, your squad is YOU. And that’s perfect.
Whatever you do, don’t peer pressure or bully anyone into your weekend schedule. Because then you’re right back where you started, except the one making the sacrifice is your BFF. And she doesn’t deserve that.
4. Do you & enjoy.
Congratulations! You’ve just resisted the status quo, prioritized number one (that's you!), and learned a valuable lesson in self-care. All that’s left to do now is enjoy the weekend you’ve planned for yourself, knowing that you’re spending it exactly how you want to spend it.
While you’re busy doing you, try to remember and understand that other people’s priorities are not a reflection of you. And vice versa. We’re all just trying to have a good time, the best way we know how. Just because your bestie opted out of your plan, doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you.
PS. These tips are easily transferable beyond the long weekend and can totally be applied to your everyday life.
ICYMI: This is part of Urban Alchemy's Summer of Self-Love series. If you're just catching up:
What NOT To Do At The Beach →
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